he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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