I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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