Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
