I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
