i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
