we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
