Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
