office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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