Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Watching her eat just hurts me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
