I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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