We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
