that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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