You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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