Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
