I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
