Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
