how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
