i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
