we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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