I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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