My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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