i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
