i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
home. puking in laundry basket.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
