Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
