Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Randomize
