i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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