white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
