Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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