I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
