I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
