my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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