her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm like, not good at living.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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