im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
