I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize