are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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