Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
