i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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