it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
