Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
