I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize