ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
