Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
