I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
