Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
