You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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