My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
