Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize