he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize