I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
