Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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