she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
