Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My cat gives me a boner
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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