i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
