this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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