What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize