look no pants
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
