8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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