Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
