The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
