The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
