Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
