We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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