I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
