the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
