Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
